PRINCESS CAMILLA’S DIARY

Monday, March 21, 2016.

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall

We landed in one of the small Balkan countries, which we were to visit on tour. I could hardly wait to end this tour. They are constantly projecting Monty Python Flying Circus on the plane, so we could easily comprehend the region, as well as, the people who are going to be our official hosts. I asked Charles what’s the name of this country where we are going to land, Charles have tried to recall the name for some time and said he was not sure, but he thought that was Serbia. He offered to invite Her Majesty to ask just to be on the safe side. I look at him and said nothing, and we did not made that call, after all. I do not need her to nag that I do not take care of her son letting him to go everywhere. Serbia, hmmmm.

I quickly looked at the intelligence report provided by MI6. There were all sorts of things about Serbia, however, it stated, in bold and underlined letters that - unlike other countries where they like to hear that - under no circumstances we should not congratulate independence of Serbia, to our hosts, after the breakup of Yugoslavia. They are not that happy with the event, comparing to other countries formed of the ex Yugoslavia.

Furthermore, the Baedeker advised to avoid any questioning of our hosts what did they do, as individuals, in years during the Yugoslavian dissolution process, as well as to avoid Kosovo talks, Russia, plans to prevail economic crisis, freedom of the media or about the expected year of entry into the European Union. I showed Charles Baedeker and asked him what we were to talk about with our hosts, then. Charles said that we should talk weather. At least we English know how to do that. Charles was right, and I did not say a thing, this time.

Some very tired and sleepy deprived young man met us at the airport and offering bread and salt, with apologies that we were to see him later, because he had to go to his Early election headquarters. Ambassador explained in the limo, on the way from the airport, that the young man was the local Prime minister and that we should not be surprised that he seemed to be tired and distracted a bit, because he’s practically running the country, the ruling party, security, the economy, media and elections, all by himself. When I asked why did the country need the elections, since only one man was doing all the work, Charles interrupted me, saying that we should not envy anyone having all the power, if we haven’t had one. I meant to hit him back, saying that our time would come, but I realized that it was quite out of place, and said nothing.

We stopped by their Parliament, although I did not understand why. Judging from a previous conversation, it did not seem to be of any importance. Beautiful building, however, where we were greeted by a woman, who had changed a number of political parties until she came to the post of the Chairwomen of the Parliament, according to the briefing given by the Ambassador. Charles said that, in his experience, it does not matter what and how many of what you had been changing if you got eventually what you have wanted. I looked at him with love and again I said nothing.

After we have visited the Parliament, we were introduced to their Head of state. Ambassador informed us that the President's role would be similar to the role of English Queen. I immediately wondered what the deal with the President’s son was, and I've been told that he was an official of the ruling party and the Mayor a small town. I said that was a very good idea, and looked at Charles with a hope, but Charles only shook his head, so I said nothing.

We also visited their heir of the throne. Charles had been in a really good mood, after that visit. How could he hadn't been, finally he met the heir who has even less chance to become the king, than himself. In order not the spoil his mood, once again did not say anything.

I am not able to write this diary, I just have to give up: my hands are full of gifts - bags, costumes, icons, books ... I asked Charles what with UK earned all these gifts, he conceived and replied that he did not know, because for all those merits known to him, normally gifts wouldn’t be in order, but seeking indemnity. However, he said, we should pretend English and comment nothing. Here I finally said something: that we ARE English and there is no need to pretend anything. And, at that moment, Charles said nothing.