THE VIEW THROUGH THE FOREIGN WOMAN'S EYES - HOW IS TO DATING SERB MAN?

It’s a summer time, vacations are on the doorstep, we’ve been writing about a number of heavy topics, so maybe it's time to relax with some easy summer theme. 
Once upon a time, I've asked my very good American friend, who - unlike the most Americans - had been travelling the whole wide World a lot, if there was something specific, something unique, something different from any other country he had been to, he observed to Serbia? To my total surprise, the answer was - "Your attitude towards children". I have never noticed anything extraordinary in our behavior towards children, of course, so I asked him to tell me in more detail. He said that we were very careful and gentle to children. Not only to our own but someone else's, too, without exception. On the street, in a restaurant, when a child approaches someone, this person always has a kind word, smile at him, strokes his hair, and even play with him. He told me that he didn't see anything similar anywhere in the countries he had visited except in Serbia.

So, some things that are ordinary to us, could be quite extraordinary to somebody who is viewing from the side. The following story is of that kind:

Through the Eyes of a Gen Y^*

by EMMA KRSTIC

When it comes to dating Serbian men, high heels and a basic knowledge of astrology are useful.

A friend and I were recently in a café in my neighbourhood when a young Canadian girl approached us and introduced herself. She had overheard us speaking English and from our conversation realised we were foreigners, like her, living in Belgrade.

In Serbia, it seems traditional dating customs hold strong, manners are not forgotten and chivalry is not dead. Flickr: Nate Edwards.

During the customary introductions, she told us she was here as part of her university studies, and over the next six weeks would be conducting an anthropological study into the Serbian dating scene.

On that note, she wanted to know if we had any single male Serbian friends interested in taking her out. A rather odd request. With no 'data collection samples’ to suggest, we watched her wander off, no doubt in search of an eligible case study.

It got me thinking about my own experiences when being courted by Serbian men, and how different, if at all, it really is.

It's a question many people are curious about. Locals are mainly interested in how their fellow Serbs have behaved and whether they have shown themselves in a good light, largely because of their consciousness of their international image. Countless times, I have been told by Serbs that they believe they are perceived globally as 'the bad guys', a possible legacy from the wars and one allegedly propagated by film.

As for my friends from outside of Serbia, they mainly just want to know if Serbian men are similar to Russians...

Well, this is what I have observed.

In Serbia, it seems traditional dating customs hold strong, manners are not forgotten and chivalry is not dead. Perhaps I am used to the norms of London living, but I am always surprised and impressed when here there is no discussion on splitting the bill and your date always makes sure you get home safe.

This undoubtedly stems from the very defined gender roles in Serbian culture, which are also particularly noticeable when it comes to the dating dress code.

Here, it seems you are either a masculine man or a feminine woman. Simple. Men tend to have a rugged edge and would never be seen wearing skinny jeans, while women don't hold back on anything, their appearances meticulously put together with hair done, nails painted and makeup perfectly applied. They also have an uncanny ability to wear six-inch heels in all weather and on all surfaces - including the cobbled Skadarska Street.

For myself, who does not even own a pair of high heels, this is a feat I am sure I will never master.

This expectation of all-out glamour is hard to compete with, especially when what is deemed attractive among 20-somethings back home in Australia is looking as if you put in minimal effort but you happen to look good.

In Serbia, however, the effort shows, and it is meant to.

One other trait of Serbian courtship that has surprised me is the importance of the zodiac. Yes, star signs matter.

Recently I was on a date where the person asked me, with great seriousness, what my star sign is. When I told him Sagittarius, he smirked and said "the same as my dad." There was no elaboration, and I still have no idea about its relevance, but apparently it's a big deal. We didn't see each other again.

I had been forewarned by a colleague about this phenomenon of 'the astrology question', but had assumed it was an exaggeration. I now know this friend's word should be taken as gospel.

And I have also since learned that Sagittarii match with Leo and Aries. Now I know who to look for.

[Source: BalkanInsight| Originally posted: July 22. 2016.| Author: Emma Krstic]

^* GenY is an abbreviation for the therm "Generation Y" that means the generation born from 1980s (some says mid-70s) to early 1990s.